


dust on every page

by softestlesbian



Series: i want your midnights [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24578320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softestlesbian/pseuds/softestlesbian
Summary: She closes her eyes and breathes, thinking of the night he caught her near the fountain, of the protection he seems to offer all of them from a distance.Let me help, he seems to be saying,Let me fix what I've ruined."I haven't forgiven you," she tells him quietly.He doesn't try to hide the resignation on his face. "I know," he tells her. "I'm not looking for that. I only want to help."And so she takes him up on it.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: i want your midnights [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756624
Comments: 9
Kudos: 143





	dust on every page

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't quite accurate to canon, but it's as close i could get it without just typing out all the dialogue in their scenes together (which is boring). takes place during "the southern raiders". i can't write zutara and not write This Fic ;)
> 
> also, this was written for the prompt "first date" for the quarantine edition of zutara month. this is who i am.

“I know who killed your mother,” Zuko says, and Katara very nearly falls over with the shock of it. She stands up straight, jug of water nearly hitting the ground.

"Are you sure?" she asks in a near-whisper, feeling a thousand times more awake than she was even a moment ago. 

Zuko nods, and explains. "I can take you to him," he tells her. 

She closes her eyes and breathes, thinking of the night he caught her near the fountain, of the protection he seems to offer all of them from a distance. _Let me help_ , he seems to be saying, _Let me fix what I've ruined_. 

"I haven't forgiven you," she tells him quietly. 

He doesn't try to hide the resignation on his face. "I know," he tells her. "I'm not looking for that. I only want to help." 

And so—she takes him up on it. 

*

They leave that same day. Katara doesn't pack anything other than a map, climbing on Appa and clutching her knees to her chest; she's unfocused, only thinking of the task ahead of her. 

Zuko’s hand on her shoulder surprises her. She jumps, looking at him with wide, scared eyes. She’s terrified, but she can’t pinpoint the cause. 

“You should get some sleep,” Zuko says quietly, crouching next to her, hand warm on her shoulder. 

She shakes her head, jerking up, back straight. “No,” she says, voice coming out rough. “I can sleep after. After we…” she trails off. 

Zuko doesn’t flinch away from her. “After we find him,” he agrees, “you can sleep all you want. But right now, I need you to get some rest. You’re shaking.” 

Katara smiles at that, rueful and angry. “I’m fine,” she tells him, but he’s right. She can feel herself trembling. 

He frowns more deeply than before, but moves away from her. Dimly, she notices the bag he’s brought with him. She thinks she can smell the meat she dried last night.

Well, fine. He can eat it if he wants; she needs to stay sharp. Hunger makes someone a better hunter, her father told her once. Hunger keeps you focused on the goal. (Or was it being tired?)

She takes the reins, calling, “Yip yip!” in his rough voice, and they take off. 

*

When she wakes up, it’s with a jolt. 

She frowns. Everything is dark around her - it takes her a moment to realize she’s been covered by a blanket. 

She pushes it to the side, squinting when she can finally see. “Zuko?” she asks. “What did you do?” 

“You fell asleep,” Zuko calls back without turning. “I was afraid you’d crash or fall, so I carried you there. I guess you _were_ tired,” and there’s a hint of humor in his voice, like this is funny. 

_Great_. Her hand flies to her neck but her mother’s necklace is still there. She can breathe more easily then, and she closes her eyes. “Okay,” she says. 

Zuko does look at her now. He looks tired, she notices. “I was worried,” he tells her. 

Something in her relaxes. She nods. “Thank you,” she says, biting her lower lip. She means _I'm sorry_ , and she's sure he knows.

“We’re almost there,” he says instead of answering, turning back around. 

She lies down, staring at the sky and thinking of nothing. 

*

It is too easy to give in and grab his blood. 

She can feel the resistance but pushes past it, until she feels like she’s screaming, every nerve ending on fire— 

But it’s not him, it _isn’t him_ , and she collapses when they get back to Appa. 

“Eat something,” Zuko tells her, shoving a piece of dried meat into her hand. “You look like shit.” 

She rolls her eyes, laughing quietly. Her voice breaks but she doesn’t cry, she _will not cry_ , not until they find Yon Rha. 

*

They find him. 

She walks away. 

She wants to bend his blood, to hold onto his heart and watch the life leave his eyes, but she cannot. 

In the end, she won’t have his blood on her hands. She allows it to remain in his veins, pulling herself up tall and making herself leave. 

They climb back on Appa and she tells Zuko, “Take me somewhere else,” resting her chin on her knees again. 

Zuko doesn’t answer, but takes the reins and leads Appa to a small beach. “We should be safe here,” he tells her. 

Katara nods. She’s beginning to tremble again. 

When they’re unpacked for the night, and only then, she lets herself cry. 

She’s across from Zuko when it starts, and she pushes out apologies—she never meant to let anyone else see this side of her, this raw, angry, _sad_ part of her. 

But—“It’s okay,” Zuko tells her, and he’s moving to her side, getting a tentative arm around her shoulders. “It’s okay, Katara.”

She holds onto that, him saying her name, and she leans into him. She thinks she chokes out _thank you_ , and he only holds her tighter. 

It’s dark by the time she stops crying. Zuko’s lit a fire and they’re huddled together; she’s freezing, even wrapped in a blanket and his arms. 

“I’m sorry,” she croaks out, clearing her throat. She looks over his features, softer in the moonlight. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers back, smiling at her, a crooked thing. “I won’t tell anyone about it, if you don’t want me to.” 

She nods, still watching him intently. “I’d like that,” she says. The feeling of sharing something with him settles her, helps her find a pocket of calm in the storm of her emotions. A small part of her is glad that he's the one who knows.

She leans on him then, curling up as close as she dares.

“It’s beautiful here,” she tells him after a moment staring at the horizon, shoulders relaxing. “I wish we could stay.” 

His hand stills on her back. “You’d miss everyone too much,” he says. There’s a heaviness to his voice, one she can’t place. ( _Jealousy_ , she thinks, and the thought is gone in a flash. It hardly registers.)

“I suppose that’s right,” she agrees after a moment, curling up tighter against herself, relaxing against him. “Maybe what I mean is... I'm glad it's you, here with me.” 

He resumes rubbing over her back, and it feels lighter now, gentler. She thinks he's relaxed some. “Did this help? The trip?” he asks. 

“I don’t know,” she answers, chewing at her lower lip. “I think so, though. Or it will.” 

“Good,” Zuko says, sounding satisfied. “That’s all I wanted.”

The thing is - and it surprises even Katara - she believes him. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me on twitter @ skywalksrise. :)


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